The Desire for Clarity

Walking back from lunch today, I was reminded of a customer I once had waiting tables in the North Georgia mountains. I was right out of college, saving money to move to Edinburgh, she was eating alone. We chatted a bit. I remember being in awe of her as she told me she had just finished up her Masters, and when her fiance asked her what she wanted as a gift, she requested a trip by herself. She sat and enjoyed her meal slowly, taking it all in, and writing letters to friends and family who had supported her throughout her journey. I admired her for her accomplishments, and for her wherewithal to know what she really needed was a big, fat, quiet, inward-looking break.

Now I find myself 7 years later, about to finish my MBA. I am tired and sad and an emotional roller coaster.  I’m proud of myself. I moved here to Portland with just a small suitcase and a smile.

Now I (almost – 10 days! ) have an MBA, a partner, and an incredibly strong community. The unknowns after June 10th are vast, exciting, and unnerving. I can tell Taylor and I want to make a decision about the future so we can have some clarity. What is our next move? Will we do something crazy like move to Costa Rica? Or do something equally crazy like buy a house and start a family? Will I start a business? The possibilities are endless and so are our imaginations.

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